Sorrow

-It's painful to see how people can be so broken inside..To what state do you have to get to finish your life?

For how much suffering was that poor girl going through?

And none of us could see that..Now,after her death we know how much pain she was feeling..or at least imagine it...

And I can't stop blaming myself for not trying to get closer...for just seeing her a few sits ago,and think she is a bit strange...Am I that kind of person who prejudges someone just because she acts different than me? And because I don't know her?

But I also think that,if not even her family could see all that,and the decision she was about to make...

I feel as if my best friend had died..but it wasn't anything like it..she was just a mate from university,with whom I didn't even talk..But it must be that I'm not accostumed to deal with issues so delicate...And let alone death.I've never been in this kind of situation,when someone you see everyday dies,and you continue expecting him/her to walk into the room as always,as if nothing has happened...

I think I didn't even think about death...And even less about suicide...Those are things that I saw only in movies,things that I didn't consider real...But now I can't help to think about it,and to feel an overwhelming sorrow for that poor soul...

I hope she has found peace now,that she is in heaven,and everything is just the way she likes it,and that she's recovered the childhood she always wanted back..I wish her Happiness,if it really exists something after this life..


And I hope to recover my usual mood..When I'm surrounded by people,I forget most of this sorrow,but as soon as I'm alone,I start to think again,and to cry..

Thanks God,what helps me not to break down completely,is loving so deeply and completely someone who loves me back..Who makes my heart warm with just his memory..If I didn't have him,I would be in a much worse state than now,so I owe him sooooooo much,for making me feel alive,and loved...

I'm optimistic that this storm will go away eventually,and I'll go back to be that cheerful and friendly girl that everybody knows-